


scarlet tidings

by sirenofodysseus



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pirate, Christmas fic, Gen, SO MUCH FLUFF, read Chasing the Storm first, so much feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:08:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28305063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirenofodysseus/pseuds/sirenofodysseus
Summary: It honestly was the best Christmas ever, all thanks to a vest.
Relationships: Kristina Saffron (OC) & James Bertram (OC), Kristina Saffron (OC) & Walter Mashburn, Walter Mashburn & James Bertram (OC)
Kudos: 1





	scarlet tidings

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Holidays, my friends! 
> 
> With the assistance of my lovely writing partner, we cranked out this lovely holiday piece in a little under two hours. It brought us happiness and joy this time of year, something we could all use. 
> 
> Whether you celebrate the holidays or don't, here's a fic that might put a smile on your face if you enjoy our pirate AU.

James watched as Walter Mashburn stepped into the mess hall, a large smile on his pale face; the brunette glanced upwards, just in time to see the Scarlet Oasis financer plop down next to him on the wooden bench. 

“Walter, what are you plotting?”

Walter grinned. “My friend, do you know the date?” 

James glanced upwards towards the ceiling in confusion. Had he missed something important? He then glanced down at his fingers and started counting. “Well, I’ve got three more months and I’ll have been here a year--so that’s not it.” He paused again. “It’s not Kris’s birthday or yours for a few more months, so tell me, what have I missed?” 

“The most wonderful of holidays, my friend,” Walter explained cheerfully. 

“All Hollow’s Eve?” James squinted. After being on a pirate ship for months on end, time was a blur. Something he often enjoyed pointing out to both Walter and Cho. Walter shook his head. “The Captain’s birthday? Cho’s birthday? God forbid,  _ Wayne’s _ ?” 

“You worry too much, James.” Walter dismissed him with a smile. “No, it’s Christmas!” 

James blinked. “Well, Happy Christmas?” He wasn’t much for the holiday, considering his father’s bastardization of the holiday; it was a time of year when Gale, his father, often swindled money out of the hopeless and religious. 

“Be more excited, James!” 

Walter reminded James of a little child; full of wonder, excitement, and above all, present-crazy. 

“I uh...didn’t get you anything.” He was also poor; a pirate didn’t make much in terms of a salary. Therefore, holidays weren’t celebrated; the most you got was a small party, which involved a lot of booze and some crewmen sleeping atop the deck. “Sorry?” He almost felt guilty for not having anything to hand off to Walter, as the man had been truly kind to him. Especially after the last encounter with both the First Mate and Wayne, Walter had tried to come to his defense. However, both parties weren’t much in the mood to hear those; although, Kris had come around eventually. All she needed was a pleading apology - it had taken a month. 

“Don’t worry about it, friend,” Walter replied, still excited as ever. “I have gotten something for you though.” Before James could say another word, worry clouding his expression, Walter reached behind his back and pulled out a garment of clothing. “Happy Christmas, James!” 

Reluctantly, James took the garment from Walter and unfolded it. At the first sight of the flashy, rhinestone covered vest, James made a double-take. Of everything he had thought Walter had for him, the vest had definitely been the last thing. 

“Dear God,” James heard Kris’s voice from behind them, which made him turn around and stare at her in surprise. “Burn it. Immediately.” 

“Kristina!” Walter cried out, his voice high. “How dare you! James has often complimented me on my style and so, I have given him the most, highly anticipated gift.” 

“A vest with his name on the back?” 

James turned the rhinestone vest around to see his name was, in fact, engraved into the material. 

“It’s…”

“Something alright,” Kris replied dryly. “What’s the occasion?” James opened his mouth, but before he could answer, Kris had continued. “It’s not your birthday, James and you’re three months away from a year on the Scarlet Oasis--so what gives?” 

His heart warmed at her mention of his birthday. She still remembered? A Christmas miracle, indeed. 

Walter continued to grin. “It’s Christmas, Kristina! Y’know, the time of year where we celebrate what we’re thankful for and give gifts?” 

James glanced at Walter. “We don’t actually celebrate Christmas, Walter.”

“My father kind of soured it for me,” Kris said bitterly, before she grabbed the rhinestone vest from Walter’s hands. “Can I have one with spikes on it? Knives? Poisonous needles?” 

“You’re already quite dangerous enough, Kristina, you don’t need any sharp objects.” 

Kris pretended to pout. “But I want them.” 

James chuckled. “To skin us alive? No, thank you.” He glanced at Walter. “Is it actually Christmas?” 

“No,” Walter replied sarcastically. “I’m just telling you it’s Christmas, so you’ll hand me free things while I give you things that I bought lovingly.” He paused to roll his eyes. “Of course it’s Christmas, James! It’s the 25th of December.” 

“I’m glad someone has a calendar,” Kris replied sardonically. “Because,  _ boy _ , would we be lost without your sense of style and timing.”

“Why thank you, Kristina!” Walter replied brightly, before he turned back to James. “What do you think of your gift, James?” 

“It’s perfect, Walter,” James said with a small smile. “I...I still have nothing for you.” Before Walter could respond, James slipped on the rhinestone vest just for his best friend.

“Let me go get mine!” Walter said excitedly, before he turned and ran out the door. In turn, Kris started to laugh. 

“You two need to go build a treehouse together or something,” Kris responded. “Braid each other’s hair, have a sleepover...” 

“I didn’t realize it was Christmas,” James interrupted and he watched Kris frown for a moment, before she crossed her arms against her chest. “Yes, yes, you’re hilarious. Now, what are we getting Walter?” 

“We?” Kris asked, as she raised her eyebrows. “He didn’t get me anything. As far as I’m concerned, today’s just like any other day.” 

“We agree on something,” James said with a slight smile. “It’s a miracle.” 

“Don’t let it go to your head,” Kris warned him, before she chuckled and added, “so, did you get me anything?” 

“Didn’t think you celebrated,” James responded with laughter. “Ms. It’s Just Another Day.” 

“Doesn’t mean I can’t want things, Bertram,” Kris responded and James tried to hide his disappointment at her using his last name. “I’ve got a long list of wishes and I was hoping you were here to fulfill one of them.” 

James tried to keep his expression neutral, as he almost wished he  _ could  _ fulfill her. For the entire night, that is.

“Let me see what I’ve got,” James told her, his expression still neutral as he started to pat himself down. “Oh, what do I have here?” 

“Whatever it is, don’t ask me to close my eyes and put it in my mouth. I’m not into party games.” 

James felt his face go red. “Uh...nothing like that.” 

“Good!” James watched as she laughed and he immediately felt better, having understood her comment as a joke. He almost felt relieved. “So, what do you have for me? I’m waiting and not getting any younger here.” 

James bent down and from his leather boot, he pulled a sharp dagger. “I was going to give this to you for your birthday, but because it’s Christmas--” He paused to hand it to her. “Happy Christmas, Kris.” 

He watched as she glanced down at the dagger, her mouth dropping slightly in surprise before she whistled. “Now this...this is  _ nice _ .” Before he could say anything else, she threw her arms around him and tucked her head into his chest. “Thank you, James.” 

Unbeknownst to her, he couldn’t contain his smile. It honestly was the best Christmas ever, all thanks to a vest. 


End file.
